Not Funny...anymore

From the Broken City's Gaza Strip -

Caught by the humor of the antics of Muskegon politicians and other denizens, Crack'd Muskegon Newz was intended to satirically comment (albeit with gallows humor) about the gnashing and thrashing and scrambling of people who suck their lively hood from the public teat. The acts and lies of many of these people has been such that it not possible to comment with humor while innocent Gazanites are being held responsible for my words.

Therefore, Crack'd Muskegon Newz is going to fall silent for a while (and hope that humor returns amid this sad community) and those who have bothered to read this may have to make you own commentary about the despicable acts being perpetuated here in the Gaza Strip.

Lies and the liars who spread them...(apologies to Al Franken)

More from Muskegon's Gaza Strip -

Well, Lars Spittoon is spinning and misrepresenting the truth (as is his wont from time to time) with aplomb...

And what can we expect from an elected official who thinks that his serving on the board of a neighborhood association is O.K., and that living in Muskegon twenty years makes one more equal, more of a citizen, than one who has lived here less than five. This must be Spittoon's idea of being a Commish.

(And Lars, no one wants to dissolve NNIA; we enjoy the ironic fruitlessness of their existence.)

But let us also acknowledge that the rest of Nelson folk (the "other" people) deserve an alternative group. They, some with good reason, distrust and feel uncomfortable with NNIA; but what do they know?

Case in point:
An untrue and possibly actionable e-mail, written by Lars, who also is an employee of Muskegon County , as well as being a Commish, has been generally circulated, in hard copy with the collusion of some NNIA board members. This bit of partial fact casts aspersions on a citizen, who is known to have performed great service to Nelson Neighborhood, sponsoring a food truck, helping people find housing, organizing, with the assistance of local clergy, a fund-raiser to help an AIDs victim; additionally, one who has also helped start a successful community garden, recruited members for a local Lion's Club in order to aid in promulgating a much needed youth center...This is laughable; anyone who knows this person knows that Lar's comments are untrue.
Additionally, This individual, who Lars has decided to attack, has never demanded anyone be fired; has never threatened to defund a grant. The truth Lars (sit down boy, we know you seldom recognize the truth), is that the (at that time) grant facilitator threatened that, saying something to the effect that asking questions could cause the whole grant to be withdrawn. Also, the Director of Co. Public Health threatened to ask the State of Michigan to cancel its contracts regarding the Healthy Neighborhoods program. Never did the victim of Lars' poison e-mail threaten to defund the grant!

One wonders at the reason...Is our "drive slow, smile and wave" boy (who, we know, never lies)
simply losing his grasp of reality?

What's up Liars, I mean, Lars? You seem to be scurrying about like a rat on a sinking ship!
...Hmmm... And where is the Nelson neighborhood City Commissioner? What is she doing to counter the slander?

There's more, but my sentences are becoming more complex and I don't want to confuse Lars with all the punctuation!

Crap, By Any Other Name, Still Stinks...

From the Gaza Strip - Broken-by-the-Lake Muskegon -

"Nelson Neighbors United" the unnatural spawn of an already in shambles group of self-serving cronies (not even worthy of the title "Neighborhood Association") has to be commended for at least revealing true colors. This is a select, very exclusionary, few who want to promote the BUSINESS interests (and we all see how well they've done so far: "Main Street Muskegon", Gary Posthole's "Strolling Market"...)and find a means to give Dan the Echo-Monkey an income.

If you send an e-mail sent to the President-by-default of the Nelson Neighborhood Improvement Association, and ask,"Who constitutes the membership of NNU? How were they selected? Was the Nelson neighborhood informed?" you will receive an evasive non-answer and you will be told to call on the telephone...For obvious reasons, the NNIA and it's miscreant off-spring do not want anything in writing...With a phone conversation, they can simply deny it (and will if it suits their cabalistic purposes).

William K. Black, bank regulator, author of "The Best Way to Rob a Bank is to Own One", points out that our current economic crisis was preventable, but for the greed and lack of ethics of a small group of bankers (AIG, Goldman-Sachs, Lehman Bros....etc.) operating in collaboration with, then Secretary of Treasury Paulson ( a former president of Goldman-Sachs). What Prof. Black goes on to say, is that, when capitalists and politicians act ethically, capitalism works quite well and, mostly, everyne gets some benefit. Nelson Neighbors United, and their totally unethical parent organization need an enema and when the stink alleviates, maybe, just maybe, some ethics might creep in. Wouldn't that be refreshing?

In the meantime, all you circle-dancers, keep slowing down, smiling and waving.














'

Hyphen-Nation

Muskegon's (Four time nominee, Sphincter City, USA) Gaza Strip -Broken City by the Lake -

Many years ago, in early renaissance Europe, hyphenated last names signified the co-joining (usually through a marriage contract) of powerful/influential merchant families. In more recent times the hyphenated name has taken on many meanings: old money,important lineage, etc... More currently, a hyphen is used (in marriages, civil unions) to indicate that one life partner retains name/identity, and is a co-equal participant in the conduct of family business. However, there are a few speculations that might be addressed about hyphenating names:

Do we have any old, powerful, influential double-named merchant families here in Muskegon?

Do we NEED old, hyphenated, powerful, influential double-named merchant families in Muskegon? Maybe we do! It'd give us something to brag about. "Yo, Grand Haven, we have more hyphenated families than you! Nah-Nah Nah Nah-Nah!"

What's with all this anyway? Some last names are a mouthful to begin with and to add another...Is this an ego-thing for those who just want to hear themselves addressed publicly, "Hey, Ryznecovic-Herzogathana! How are you this morning?"

Would you hate to be behind such a hyphen sporting person in the line ahead of you while they brandish their credit card (a full three-quarters of an inch longer than yours)and sign their unnaturally longish name?

Are hyphenated names part of a cruel joke, meant merely to confuse the dyslexic? Or, is this part of a criminally clever ruse to get witnesses to contradict themselves in court?

How does one decide which names shall trail behind the hyphen? Does this denote, not co-equality, but a lesser, more submissive role in the life-partner arrangement?

Are hyphenated names, in reality, un-mutual and (gasp) un-democratic?

What about polygamystic Mormons, who, in pretending to old respectability, decide to hyphenate the names of the husbands and the all the wives, over sixteen? How would that work out? (My God, what would their credit cards look like? Assuming Mormons use credit cards).

Then we have those who have two last names but lack the pedigree of the hyphen:

Do they secretly yearn for the hyphen, if just for the symbolic mantle signifying lineage, old money, influence?

Or, are these folks, who have, somehow, lost the hyphen (maybe due to to something similar to that strange linguistic disease that burdened the Welsh with a plethora of consonants)?

Are these, double-named people closet hyphenators? (Do they secretly aspire to be Pope?)

History, I suspect, may show those possessing double last names (or their forebears), whether sporting a hyphen or not, have probably spent a portion of their lives mining the poor

Or are they part of a secret army of of hyphenated name holders, infiltrating the Midwest, pretending to be normal? ("Muskegon today; tomorrow the world!").

Do you suppose there are rules for becoming hyphenated? Is there, somewhere (maybe in Pentwater) a college of heraldic hyphenation who convene and pour through the ancient and arcane scrolls and bound texts to establish legitimacy for hyphen applicants?

So, in the end, what the hell is with this two-last-name trend among the yuppies?
Let's give them a hyphen and maybe they'll float away.

UPDATE

Hystercal District - Broken City, MI - Maybe there is hope.......now I say maybe because I have been forced to become a student of the ancient philosophy of "Skeptikoi." So trying to be open to feelings of hope and belief's of positive change which have been absent for a good decade or so now .......is hard. Apparently CRC bringing in an Americorp worker has been repositioned. I've been told by one of the "Secret Society of the Circle Dancers" (NNIA), that another new group has been formed. Not sure of the name .................. never mind that.


This new group, that is claimed to be a mix of people from many walks of life who will be over seeing the Americorp worker has been set in place. The claim is the outcome of this position will enhance the Nelson neighborhood. I can support this action for now.

My promise, I will ignore my usual dark clouds of distrust on this new approach as long as I see that the actions of this newly formed group are in the best interest of the community and not a political ploy or the start of grants coming to Nelson that have little or no long term effects. I would enjoy shutting down Crack'd Muskegon Newz exiting with a statement of no source of content...........*har har

This public service message is brought to you by the thrown-away neighborhood of the Broken City.


As always............slow down...........smile............and wave!

Watch out Gaza We Might Get Studied Again!

Hystercal District - Broken City, MI - Just when I thought maybe the people of the Gaza Strip were going to have some money spent on what was really needed I found out that the "Gaza Study Keeper" from the Health Department had no intention on listening to the people. Jill Montgomery Keast took the Master Plan from the Nelson Neighborhood Improvement Association and made her decisions from that. She did the usual of talking to the poor and smiling while all the while her intentions were to follow the same old circle dance with the same old plan. Paint er up and make it look good.........folks will come. How many photo-ops will we see adorning the front page of the press.............. will the people in the pictures be paid volunteers or some youth they find to hold a shovel long enough to take a pic to make it look good..............never to be seen again!!!!!

No wait.....this just in........what me worry? A whole new twist, Nelson Neighborhood Improvement Association is bringing in Americorp. That'll fix us. Not just any Americorp worker. We get the good ones. Christian Reformed Church (CRC) is going to cough up the bucks to pay for this. That's right kiddies, no separation of church and state here. Does the circle dance ring a bell?

Our neighborhood associations are suppose to be our voice sanctioned by the city........... looks like our voice is soon to be CRC ........ now what would CRC be doing in the Gaza? Would there be a board member of the neighborhood association behind this? Rumour has it the CRC Americorp worker will be doing another Gaza Strip Study to see what the residents want, they say. What was Jill Montgomery Keast all about then? Who owns the study results? What will the study results result in? My head is spinning..........how many studies does it take? Soon the latest study will be done and more grants will be written for more programs that spend shit loads of our tax dollars on administrative costs to let people of privilege live in the Hysterical homes while the rest of the Gaza simply crumbles.......bang the drum....... maybe that's the masters plan from 12 years ago and someone forgot to turn the page?



I've lived here all my life............ I'm going to give em a free complimentary study so here goes.

Nelson Neighborhood, Muskegon, Michigan.

The Problems

Average income is moot do to lack of employment. Population is unknown. Years of neglect, poorly run programs have left us dealing with crack addictions with the young and old selling it in the streets. Boarded up houses, slum lords with vandalism being one of the leading forms of entertainment. Teenagers with no where to go and nothing to do. A High School that allows students failing to play football and we are graduating young adults not educated well enough to get a job......even if we had jobs to get. Let's not forget the newbies who have come in working at yuppyfication with no consideration to the poor or elderly.

Our yuppa'neers have a total disconnect with a culture in need and work hard at pushing them out. They never consider they have no where else to go and bilk the very same programs set up to help. They control every aspect of this neighborhood with the disconnect from our neighborhood association to almost every agency, city official and police department. They will stoop at nothing to over power. We have a commissioner allowed to use the neighborhood association for personal and political gain.


The Answers

Jobs, youth programs, student academic requirements, police officers who care, end the rule of yuppy's, separation of church and state, stop the grant addicts, revamp the neighborhood associations............. and a new puppy for my grand daughter.


As always.............. drive slow.........smile.........and wave.

Here We Go Again...... or do we?

Gaza Strip-Broken City, Mi- Almost a year ago I wrote Who's Watching The Watchers I was treated as if I was guilty of the commission of conduct that causes social harm with my words of experience on Gaza Strip Studies of years gone by. It is now 2009 and again the sounds of spring bring the music of yet another circle dance and I get a call from one of the victims of the "Gaza Strip Study Keeper" of 2008. She calls me and says, Hey Dennis do you remember the article you wrote about that study and the program that follows?. Of course I remember, I tell her. How'd that work out for you? Did the Health Department come in and deal with the disenfranchised or has it turned out to be another attempt for the Nelson Neighborhood Improvement Association ..*cough cough*........to influence?

Well she says, if only I would have listened to you.

Hats off to all the slick talking movers and shakers of Muskegon who will stop at nothing to conquer and destroy, you've sure done a bang about job of it this time .............. love thy neighbor and all of that need not apply.

Shaking my head here and thinking there are times I wish I was wrong, this is one of them.

As always............. slow down, smile and wave

Hydra-like Ormaloo Creature Spotted in Muskegon!

From Muskegon's Gaza Strip - It drifted into town, seeking to satisfy its voracious appetite for your money. If you had looked carefully, you would've seen it forming...it has invaded the downtown shopping district. It keeps chopping away at our money...........do you hear it? Odd phenomenon....... is it only likes downtown money. It has not allowed any money to go to any other part of Muskegon,

I am off to the big white house in D.C. to see what I can do to get a handle on this creature. If you see any more evidence of this entity, shine some light on it, keep it visible, it may wither and die or, simply go away........... no one knows for sure.

Watch the money, watch the money !

(No apologies to John Campbell or "the Thing")

Grant Money Not Tainted......or is it?

Viewed obliquely from Muskegon's Gaza - C'mon folks, let's get American here and not be upset when grant money, ostensibly to help the impoverished (wink, wink), turns out to be an opportunity to help defray the costs of what we know is necessary yuppificaton.

Let's be real and not be outraged when the grant process turns out to be padding to inflate someones resume. This is the American way...It is this traditional use of tax money that has brought us to where we are in this great country! Taking our tax money in forms of state and federal grants in one hand while trying to create a upscale community in the other hand, where the yuppifictoners do not pay. Build that club house downtown Muskegon .... have we considered some golfing with grant money? Why not..... none of the players will have to pay!!

Shout outs to all the public payrollee's who have been milking the tax payers for years. Shout outs to the public payrollee's who have mastered the art of GRANT WRITING.

Keep it up and you can stand all together on our Mamed Streets in Muskegon, alone!!!!

Luna~ Forming Right Here In The Broken City!!

View from the Gaza Strip-Broken City - Greetings Science Fiction fans! The Broken Downtown City by the Lake has an entertainment venue for you sponsored by the Muskegon Chronicle, our local newspaper. We have Luna~Forming! (As opposed to a not-uncommon-concept in SF known as Terra-forming; which invovles taking a life-less, but feasible, planet and re-forming it to be Earthlike) They call it "Mlive, Muskegon Talk Forum" and in keeping with the Luna~Forming idea, you don't talk but write about Muskegon, Michigan.

In this venue concept, you see how long it takes certain players to figure out what is sacred to write and what isn't. If you fail to be part of the sacredness Luna~Forming resolves the matter with a blockade of deadly punishment and kills you off for 24 hours. Only then do they realize this 24 hour death is merely the first step in a sinister scheme by the re-emergent forces of darkness known as the Comical Editor In Charge and his loyal Galactic Poo Publics .

You then are brought back to life and as soon as you get comfortable you find that freedom of speech has engulfed the Galactic Poo Publics, who feel threatened as relationships form on topics of interest.............and you are killed off for 24 more hours.............and so on ...........and so on...........and so on. Play heavy and hard and if you die a lot, you win!

As always, slow down, smile and wave!!!

Muskegon's Expanding Culture

Another view from the city that's broken by the lake; filtered through it's Gaza Strip - In their never-ending quest for more beer-tent culture, Muskegonites can now attend the Frauenthal Theater, right across from the round-about with Hunt's Muskegon Rising sculpture (a visually metaphoric Phoenix), and watch "King of the Streets Fight Night", where tatooed semi-Neanderthals beat the crap out of each other... And maybe then Summer Celebration can include Slam-Rap competitions, where rappers take the stage and legally dispose of each other as violently (but imitating poetry along the way) as they wish! What can be next? Chariot races at the round-about? Watching Christians devour lions? How about jousting on motorcycles? Para-sail sword fighting? Excelsior Muskegon!

Edumication - Alive and Well and Living in Muskegon

A view from the Gaza Strip, providing jail jumpsuit candidates for the future - The Muskegon Bored with Education Member who came up the ingenious plan for insuring sports victories by not havinng the 2.0 Grade Point requirement should be promoted to Stuporintendant of Schools.

Could " Education" fail us any further...? Give them time they'll find a way.

TWO SPUTTERING SPHINCTERS FOR YOU MUSKEGON SCHOOLS!


Is this asshattery? You determine the verdict!

An Afterthought...

A short walk from the Gaza Strip - (Yawn) Counting pennies, trying to come up with enough to purchase bait for ice-fishing, Skeet looks at the businesses on Third Street and wonders, "Are these shops part of Downtown? Will they have to pay the new Support Mainstreet Tax? Is it cheaper to start a business on Third Street rather than on Western or there-abouts?" He looks lakeward, "This place, in winter, looks like one of those after-the-nuclear disaster movies. Last summer it appeared only marginally better than in winter-time..." .

Skeet stops and looks at the sculpture in the stupid round about, and observes "Hmm not even a pidgeon". Stupid is as stupid does.

BIG SNOW-JOB ON MAIN STREET

Head Fake by the Lake - Well, once again the sputtering sphincter that passes for a city government here has joined forces with Darth Garner to pass a "special assessment tax", which seems to benefit the residents living Muskegon Ave. and the Downtown Condo Developers, ignores the rest of Nelson Neighborhood, and drops the cost squarely on the remaining denizens (the F.O.E., the Masons, and businesses)... Well, in the spirit of driving slow, waving and smiling. let us consider something else...

Not too long ago , Business 31 was moved from Webster and Muskgeon avenues to the Lakeshore route; this takes State/County responsibility of maintenance and snow removal and moves it further west leaving the residents in the rest of Nelson Neighborhood to fend for themselves and suffer with City snow-removal and repairs (and we all know how effective that is - thankyou Mr. Mayor). This redesignation paves (no pun intended) the way for the next phase (...wait for it...) the Special Assessment tax, to pay for snow removal for those who live any where else in Muskegon and in the process help save salary funding for Dan, the echo-monkey. The next step is to detach Downtown Muskegon from the Nelson Neighborhood and VOILA! the crime stats, no longer linked to Nelson, drop like the mercury in January, and Downtown is saved (picture Kevin Kostner standing in a corn field at the edge of Downtown watching the condos grow, nifty upscale boutiques and bistro's flourish). Good job MainStreet Muskegon!!!

Now if only the echo-monkey had a real backgound in community development (not public administration and six months teaching English in Asia) he would know a city's real strength comes from it's diverse neighborhoods, not homogenization. If the Muskegon had an effective City Manager and City Attorney and a Mayor who was a leader, it wouldn't be as it is...Broken by the lake.

Special Assessment tax, another Bad Dream on MainStreet...

Broken City's Gaza Strip by the Lake- Hibernation interrupted by Dan the Dancing Echo-monkey's fever dream dropping like mercury on the sidewalks of Downtown Muskegon, I awoke to yet another vote for giving Muskegon the Silver Sphincter award...

Fast Eddie Garter says "If you don't get on board with this latest bad idea, you're not supporting our troops; you're helping the terrorists!" So, with "Che" t-shirt pulled on over my snowsuit. I ask, "What the frack is wrong with every business/organization being held responsible for shoveling their own sidewalks (this includes the city shoveling in front of the properties they've taken over)!!... Think about it.! (Do not dispair Danboy, you can be hired on as a snow-shoveler. Fast Eddie can supervise; he is experienced at shoveling and piling stuff).

(Yawn)...Back to my nap...