Muskegon's Gaza Strip requires an ethnologists observation...

GAZA STRIP, MUSKEGON, MI.-Frequently reminded, by City Commissioner Lars Spitoon himself, that we, your faithful reporters Dennis DeNile and Natalie Attired are newcomers, "who have chosen to move into this neighborhood and need to adapt to the local "culture", that would be the culture of crimes and misdemeanors. Just drive slow, wave and smile." We are giving attention to trying to understand the local customs *ie-surly teenageers milling about in the street, shouting obscentities to one another,challenging motorists attempting to get by; the protocols of the local drugsters, crack heads and adolescent prostitutes intent on raising another generation of dead-end kids. We, in the course of our observation, uncovered what appears to be a tradition of circle-dancing.

This phenomenon occurs when one calls the city to ask about who is incharge of local youth programs, to whom one might contact to address complaints about vandalism, casual assaults, open market drug dealing, and other threats to one's pursuit of life, liberty and a bit of domestic tranquility and happiness. The city's first response is "Have you called your local neighborhood association?" Now, in our case, that would be the local Alfred E. Neuman Society, which despite having a city employee as it's recording secretary, a city commissioner as it's president (Yes, that would be our own dapper, articulate, drivng slow, smiling and waving Lars Spitoon) this organization has no legal charter, nor inclination, nor ability to enforce laws or do much else, other than work to preserve the propety values of the historical preservation and Lars Spitoon crew. When issues of teenage violence, crime in the streets is mentioned , the local assoication reponds with, are you ready?..... Wait for it...... "Well, we don't have any real clout. Have you reported this to the city officials?"

"What, me worry?"

The dance goes on...