Muskegon, MI - Broken by the Lake - Quietly, almost whispered, while Summer Celebration Concerts entertain the masses, a leak from un-named sources let it be known that Muskegon will most likely be named Sphincter City, USA...
Among the factors contributing to this award are the illustrious leadership shown by the City Manager, Mayor Ish ("Dance at your displacement") Kaboozer. several City Commissioners, but mostly Lars ("Run at the mouth") Spitoon, his petmonkey and others, such as Turkey MacKlackster (local mover and money-shaker), the entire Dancing Dildo ensemble (includiing Board of Housing Appeals member and avid pro-churcher, Bud "Dancing Boy" Boardboy) and, from the edge of the Gaza Strip, the Alfred E. Neuman Society. Kudos folks!
And remember the individual Sputtering Sphincter Awards are also coming up...so write in your nominees! If the sphincter fits, they must wear it (vote as many time as you wish!...In the meantime slow down, smile and wave: "Hello Muskegon!"
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